Adam and Eva – continuing my yarn for a sluggish train (Part Two: ‘Meet Mandy’)

Amanda or ‘Mandy’ is married to Adam. She’s a fifty-something headmistress at a private school for boys and she personally takes charge of the drama department. Her outlandish production of the Vagina Monologues is still being passionately debated by the school’s Governors and Counsellors.

She despises overtly feminine or flirty clothing, preferring to wear her favourite green culottes, baggy cardigans and pop socks. With her short boyish hair and long masculine overcoats she is sometimes mistaken for a Methodist preacher.

She has a severe polishing fetish that compels her to make her house look impeccable at all times. Adam is barred from the living room. It is strictly reserved for her two special visitors – her spinster sister, Mavis, and her best friend, Anita, a vertically challenged pet clairvoyant.

Mandy reluctantly tolerates her husband’s grubby fish tank that is hidden amongst his vile golf books in the study, yet she secretly longs for the day when only Anita will be able to contact them.

She compares the act of sex to having a bout of measles. It’s rash, only a disease for the young and to be endured in quarantine. Mandy was born into the wrong body. She should have been a stoat.

Coming soon . . . Part Three: ‘Unconscious Uncoupling’

Catch up with Adam and Eva