Sssssh! Only dare to whisper it . . . The other gender’s most tantalising secret revealed. What really happens when a group of men go away for a lads’ weekend? The bride has almost total control over her wedding; the venue, the food, the guest list, even the groom’s Superman themed underwear. Yet she has no influence over the potentially most destructive item on the agenda: the stag night of her beloved. It seems ironic that as the delirious couple make their vows of eternal love and promises, his brain is tattooed with the suppressed memories of drunken debauchery . . . or is it? And what other dark secrets might be lurking? Hassle Castle hands you a key to this secret world. Vividly recoun
Adam and Eva – continuing my yarn for a sluggish train (Part Six: ‘The Marriage Guidance Counsellor’
Ms Joyce Freeman was a morose, grey-haired lady, whose wiry body was draped in straggly black wool. She had the kind of face that even a rescue dog couldn’t love. When Adam was ushered in silence towards a plastic black chair, he quickly felt optimistic. There was already a sense that his marriage was being administered the Last Rites. As the Counsellor formally introduced herself, Adam’s thoughts were swept back to his wedding day. He remembered his lavish grey suit, his foster mother’s fruit-themed bonnet and even a small, toffee-like feeling of optimism. He also recalled the grotesque and abundant bridesmaids, Mavis and Anita, and the bride’s audacious vintage dress, or ‘post-Viking’ as A
In a desperate effort to try and unhinge his wife and instigate divorce proceedings, Adam decided to feign a midlife crisis. He had always suspected that Mandy was attracted to his youthful, guileless mannerisms and toy-boy status, so he began to deliberately distort this perception by acquiring a second-hand racing bike, a khaki cap and squeezing his body inside multi-coloured lycra. To enhance his new persona, he also began to wear a single earring. However, giving in to his fear of the blood and horror of an actual piercing, he raided the fancy-dress box and discovered a small clip-on bauble. The purple bead-like object had once belonged to Mandy’s spinster sister, which made him feel eve
